Introducing the Blueberry

Sprout is 7 weeks along. He is now a BLUEBERRY.

We have a brain, we have arms and legs and kidneys. We have a little tiny human forming!

I call Sprout a he, although I am not sure a gender yet. Sometimes I think boy, sometimes girl... but he is coming out easily and I'll run with that until I know for sure.

I am still feeling good! Still a little light headed, getting more and more tired everyday. And despite the tiredness, I am waking early in the morning. By around 530am I am up and then cat nap for the rest of the morning. But it's not so bad that I feel any need to get OUT of bed. I am content to lie there, fall in and out of sleep, dream a bit and watch NGB sleep. It completely creeps him out, but I think he looks so handsome and peaceful *grin*

I think the thing I struggle with most right now is that I feel useless. We have a couple of projects that need to get done this year. A big one is the re-stain the fence and strip the paint of the wood siding on the house and repaint it. It must be done, to preserve the fence and house.

But I cannot help.

I can't strip paint, since the old stuff is from the 50's (it was light green... ick!) and could easily contain lead. Which I could inhale. Which is harmful to Sprout. I can't help with the staining. While acrylic paint is ok in a very well ventilated area, stain carries a warning about potential harm to the baby.

I think if I was out to there or at least SHOWING it would make it real and make my uselessness feel more legitmate and less about being lazy. Instead, I have to conscript my parents to do this work for me and help NGB as I sit inside and watch TV in the air conditioning. Actually, I will be inside compulsively cleaning and throwing things out that we don't use. My nesting to date has expressed itself in getting rid of STUFF. Hormones are so much fun!

Let me introduce you to...

Sprout (as posted last week... I'll be better about keeping up to date)

NGB called the babe Sprout the other day... and I may have started thinking about him/her as Sprout already. Sprout is about the size of an appleseed now (taken from thebump.com -no plagiarizing here!)

And I still feel good. No horrible side effects, no crazy emotions (yet) just... a surreal feeling. Tomorrow I start week 6*. There will be a new food to compare Sprout in size to. And maybe more side effects? "People" say the morning sickness starts at around week 6 for some. But "people" really say a lot of conflicting stuff.

We have a doctor's appointment on June 10th to get the blood test and figure out where to go next. Find an OB/GYN and hope for a great fit. I am pretty sure I feel better about all this going down in a hospital. Just in case. So I think I will go down the new traditional road of OB/GYN and hospital. But I want the option of a doula. Just in case. You know, I have no clue what I want. I just want to keep my options open and we'll figure this out together.

From the advanced Internet technology I have a predicted due date of February 5th. This, of course, is dependant on the date of my last period, which I may have forgotten to track this month, but THINK it was around May 1. Maybe a few days sooner than that. Something around there.

February 5th. Making Sprout an Aquarius according to zodiac. An Ox (specifically an Earth Ox) in chinese horoscope. And making me appear to have too much time on my hands. Lunch is done, back to work for me!

It's hard to concentrate on policy when my mind is fixated on Sprout...

* Nope. I apparently can't count. Just in week 5 right now - week 6 starts NEXT Friday, June 12.

I am plagiarizing

I am officially plagiarizing... myself! NGB and I (mostly I) have started ANOTHER blog, detailing the babe and the journey. And that content (that I wrote) will ALSO be housed here. Because I am lazy like that.

First vomitting of the pregnancy last night. It was pretty sudden, my intenstines/uterus felt crampy and strange. Then the metallic tingling in the back of your mouth and a bit more drool and... VOMIT. Made it to the toilet (which strangely smelled like my many years deceased hamster's cage when I would have to clean it).

NGB was fabulous about it all. Came upstairs, rubbed my back, brought me water. He even helped me into bed and brought me crackers while my stomach settled. Once everything was down, we went out for dinner to celebrate this definitive sign of pregnancy!!

Yes, we ARE strange. Thank you for asking *grin*

Stick number 2

Life has gottne crazy. I believe I am being offered a new job - one that is a promotion of sorts, new Ministry, new group, new challenges. I'd be at the same level of job, I'd just be supervising people. New skills to learn! It would be a great opportunity for me.

But I am pregnant.

I bought a second stick, peed on it... and definitely. There was nothing faint about THAT line. A different brand, a different type and still yes.

And now to NGB it's real. We are REALLY having a baby. And his head exploded just a few times last night. I may still have brain in my hair...

OMFG

Yesterday I bought the pee-on-a-stick test. I peed on said stick last night, certain there would be no baby. I put it on the counter, and watched the digital screen. It felt so fast... maybe 30 seconds? And it flashed pregnant.

Pregnant.

I am PREGNANT.

I stood still for about 10 seconds. Then ran down the stairs, stick in hand, to NGB. He looked at me strangely as I shook my head up and down, my hand covering my mouth, tears starting. It was a shock, unexpected. Not planned, not the right timing. But inside me is the start of a human being, made from me and the man I love.

Our reaction to the news? Off to the bookstore, like good little geeks, to get a book so that we can figure out what the fuck to expect. So I bought "what to expect when you're expecting". Everyone reads that one. But there is so much to KNOW. Then we went to tell my parents.

My dad said "Finally!" and started crying. My mom looked a little more taken aback. She hoped we'd be married first... but I know she'll be an amazing grandmother. Baba. There were tears and hugs and shock and love.

Then home, to let it all sink in. The books say I am supposed to be tired. But I am the exact opposite. I woke up at 4am and wasn't able to really fall back asleep and feel fine this morning. I watched NGB sleep, watched him roll around, talk, snore... and tried to let it all sink in.

Symptoms are few. Dizzy spells. My boobs grew a bit more (ugh). I can FEEL my uterus. Almost like menstrual cramps (which made me think the cycle was about to start). But apparently not so much that. There really is nothing else. No nausea, no tiredness, no... nothing. I feel NORMAL. But instead I am growing a human being. It just does not seem real yet.