Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Yesterday I bought the pee-on-a-stick test. I peed on said stick last night, certain there would be no baby. I put it on the counter, and watched the digital screen. It felt so fast... maybe 30 seconds? And it flashed pregnant.



I stood still for about 10 seconds. Then ran down the stairs, stick in hand, to NGB. He looked at me strangely as I shook my head up and down, my hand covering my mouth, tears starting. It was a shock, unexpected. Not planned, not the right timing. But inside me is the start of a human being, made from me and the man I love.

Our reaction to the news? Off to the bookstore, like good little geeks, to get a book so that we can figure out what the fuck to expect. So I bought "what to expect when you're expecting". Everyone reads that one. But there is so much to KNOW. Then we went to tell my parents.

My dad said "Finally!" and started crying. My mom looked a little more taken aback. She hoped we'd be married first... but I know she'll be an amazing grandmother. Baba. There were tears and hugs and shock and love.

Then home, to let it all sink in. The books say I am supposed to be tired. But I am the exact opposite. I woke up at 4am and wasn't able to really fall back asleep and feel fine this morning. I watched NGB sleep, watched him roll around, talk, snore... and tried to let it all sink in.

Symptoms are few. Dizzy spells. My boobs grew a bit more (ugh). I can FEEL my uterus. Almost like menstrual cramps (which made me think the cycle was about to start). But apparently not so much that. There really is nothing else. No nausea, no tiredness, no... nothing. I feel NORMAL. But instead I am growing a human being. It just does not seem real yet.

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