Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Something real...

I have been struggling with something to write... something that is real. My little lists can only go so far. But there is so little to say but still so much I want to say. 

My work is good. While I am not sure I can stay in my position, I am here until June 30 which is an extension. Am I inspired? Maybe not, but I am challenged at times and keeping myself busy. And I got a raise and am getting a bonus this year. Yay money! 

My relationship is good. Perfect? No. But really, really good. The only thing we argue about is WoW and the guild. Although, to be honest, right now there isn't much more in our lives than WoW and the guild. We kind of need to branch out more... and are starting to. Are there things about him that drive me nuts? Of course! Can I move beyond them? Of course - except the taxes thing. The NOT doing his taxes thing. Eats a tiny little part of my soul everytime I think of it, but I know that one day he WILL have to finish them. Right? Please say yes... (but I have to say, I am proud of me for not nagging. Yet.)

The dogs are wonderful and joyful little balls of furry love. 

The game... the guild. It's eating at my life, my stomach wall... it already ate my desire not to smoke leaving a RAVENOUS smoke-monster in it's place. So many people, so many different expectations, so much drama, personalities, and conflicting desires. So little open communication. This hobby, a VIDEO game, is now a cancer in my life. Growing, festering, choking out the fun and happiness. And when I am not playing the game? I am thinking about it, what's happening in guild, with the people, wondering how we'll do in a raid, who will freak, who will fail. I am constantly yearning for the initial joy I felt when I started - the simple fun. 

I just got a call from the wonderful NGB who has planned an exciting night of foods and activities AWAY from the house and the cancer. Er... the game. I love that man so much

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